1> The primary purpose of this forum is for five or six 16-17 year olds to wax on about how they have the "new alpha" which will not be "leaked" since the fact that they have this program and you do not is the only thing that is maintaining their status as "l33t".

2> Respect in this forum is not to be meted out based on the quality of your post or the content within your post. Respect is based solely on number of posts made. If you have under 50 posts, you may not post at all. Between 50 and 100, you may post, but may be urinated/defecated on by someone who has the "new alpha". All users who have under 200 posts will be flamed repeatedly by being called "gay" a "fag", a "gay fag" or even a "dick-loving gay faggot".

3> This is the Sonique forum. Sonique may not be discussed. Those who developed Sonique may not be discussed. Events that occured which effected the fall of Sonique may not be discussed. Ian Lyman, Andrew McCann, Tony Million or the rest of "Team Sonique" may not be discussed or asked about. You may, however, flame people violently who mistakenly happen across this forum and were genuinely interested in Sonique 2. This includes:
* People who may have been on vacation for the last few months.
* People with intermittent internet access
* Anyone who doesn't wear big pants and listen to K0Rn
* Other classmates who are not in the "cool kids club".

4> Please do not use full sentences, fully spelled out words, proper grammar, punctuation, or tact when posting. As an example, this entire post is inappropriate. The following is an example of an acceptable Sonique Forum post:
"d00dz u think u r so k3wl hAhA LOL LOL! U only hav 48 posts U r just a nu B haha a NEWBIE FAG!! FAG FAG!! U R 2 lame 2 understand only l33t ppl like me R 2 have BEETTAAAA 2@@@@!!!! haha here is the b8a url www.fag0ts.com HAHAHAHA!"
Anything less will not be tolerated.

5> Remember that indeed, all other media players ever written were intended for homosexual men. Consider this clause in the Nullsoft EULA, often glossed over by unsuspecting users installing this clearly male-biased cowboy-based media player.
"Nullsoft shall not be responsible for anal rape, man-to-man blow jobs or fellatio comitted by this media player. Nullsoft is inteded for men who are in romantic relationships for other men only. You have been warned."
The appropriate way to warn a user of this is to reply, "WINAMP IZ 4 FAGzzZZZZZ!!!!##!!!#!#!". Note the extra Z's and !'s for emphasis. This is important: Using other media players WILL change your sexual preference. Please use caution.

6> Facts are not important. Remember that the AE decoder sounds better because it was written while Tony Million was tripping on acid. Psychoacoustic, spectral and temporal analysis was performed on Sonique's decoder as well as Winamp, WMP, Kjofol and Real's decoders, but this means nothing since the word 'analysis' contains the word 'anal' and therefore "ANALys1s iZ 4 FaGZ@$!". Furthermore, science has proven time and time again that a team of German scholars at a research facility are easily outdone by 20-somethings on acid. MIT, along with recently moving their coursework online, has also included LSD in their latest cafeteria selections. One scholar was quoted as saying, "We're all such fucking geniuses now, that I just can't take the god damned innovation. Ed thinks he's a banana, but he made a ceramic engine out of dirt last night that gets 400 miles per gallon.". Remember that Sonique can make a diharrea-soaked 8-track encoded at 20kbps in mono sound like the mother fucking Berlin Philharmonic. (NOTE: The Berlin Philharmonic did not tour with Blink 182. Further information available upon the dropping of your testicles and the development of pubic hair.)

7> Round is better. Rectangular is conformist, and if you were a conformist, you'd wear pants that fit. Around your waist. And you'd like... go to school. and shit. Ergonomics say that the best player is the one that looks like an alien took a dump on your desktop. Besides, tits are round, and if Sonique is round, then Sonique must be cool like tits... or something. 

8> Remember that if we keep this quiet,  the Alpha will NEVER be available to the general public. In 2040, when we're all... 55... and still rocking out to 311, governments will crumble by the sheer power of our l33tness, k3wlness and general dick size. After all, on the Internet, if a few people have a program, it generally stays among those people. As with most things digital, they tend to stay in one place and not be trafficked. So prolong our status, sign a keepsoniquealive petition - since large companies like TerraLycos, in the face of downturning tech profits, have shown time and time again that they are willing to re-hire cut workers at twice the salary and re-develop a free product that was losing them money in the face of 300 "e-signatures" of el33t hax0rs like us. They just can't take how fucking l33t we are. After all, they wear suits and shit. 

9> Lastly, don't post any subversive comments. Because the moderators watch WWF, and will meet you at the flagpole after school, beat the shit out of you, and take your Rio with all your faggy REM music on it. 

(Inane, babbling, incomprehensible, "I'M A BADASS!"-style responses will follow this notice.)
You may begin your chest puffing, ball grabbing, and dick waving NOW.  ->